For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about public bathrooms lately. I think work inspires me to write about them. It did today anyway.
I have certain weirdnesses with public bathrooms. I like them, and all, considering I won’t go to the bathroom (number 2) at my friends house if they’re home/awake/in the house. But I hate bathroom talkers.
I do not go to the bathroom to carry on a conversation with people. This is why I don’t like the girl-group bathroom roundup or multiple stall bathrooms. If I am with a group of girls and I say “I have to go to the bathroom” it is guaranteed that someone else has to go too. So you have a conversation on the way there and they always continue once in the stall.
I am having my private time now. I don’t want to talk. I wish these girls had a mute button that I could press before sending them into their stall. Invariably, the stall door will close and the girl will keep going. And expect a response.
Can’t it wait? I don’t like yelling over the top of a stall while peeing. I guess it’s just me?
At work, we have a single stall bathroom. It’s not really a stall at all, I guess, just a bathroom. I love it. I can lock myself in there and not have anyone bother me. (Great for number 2, by the way.)
Except that’s not true. It should be, but it’s not. I should just be able to lock myself in there and do my business without being bothered. But at work we have bathroom talkers that like talking through the door.
Nicki walks up to the door and, without even checking the handle to see if it’s locked, will say “hello, is anyone in there?” Then she’ll jiggle the handle and try her “hello, is anyone in there?” again. Now, if you don’t answer this second time she will say “okay, since no ones in there, I’m going to get the key.” And she will. Because I think someone accidentally locked the bathroom door upon exiting once and now she acts like it’s a daily occurrence.
My response? “Jesus Christ Nicki, yes someone is in here.”
“Why didn’t you just respond the first time?”
“Because I hate fucking talking to people while I’m in the goddamn bathroom. Leave me alone.”
I guess it’s a personal choice, really. One day I walked up to the bathroom door and gave the handle a jiggle. It was locked so I started walking away. “Oh my fucking God. Can’t you people just ask if someone is in the fucking bathroom without playing with the handle?”
“Um no, I don’t like people talking to me when I’m in there, so I’m not talking to you either.”
I guess we should all have our preferences tattooed on our foreheads.
