And So It Ends

The end of my first relationship was a difficult thing, but I think it’s probably that way for most people. Lack of experience and not having developed proper coping mechanisms (rebound relationships-replacing the one that you want with the one that you’re with) is what made it so traumatic for me. Everything comes easier with time and practice.

My relationship with Phill did not last very long after the abortion. We rarely saw each other outside of school. Our parents, knowing now that we were capable of having sex and creating life, wouldn’t let us be alone together at all. Which is odd, considering my mother put me on the pill immediately. It’s as if she would admit that I was having sex but wouldn’t allow me to if she could possibly prevent it. Why bother with the pill then? (It is a good thing she did though. Who knows what would have happened in the future.)

God Hates Me 3

My father, like always, had very little to say about it. I don’t remember him actually talking about the fact that I was pregnant at all. He left the raising of the children up to my mother. My mother was the disciplinarian, my father was the jokster.

My conservative grandparents were a while nother story. I came home from school one day, maybe a week or two after she found out, and she said that we were going to my grandparents house. To tell them.

God Hates Me 2

My mother was mean and yelling was a hobby for her. My mother either whispers or she yells, there is no in between with her. It just always seemed like she was pissed at us and we were always doing something (or everything) wrong. She is a lot more pleasant to be around now that I don’t live with her. I think the stress of raising four monster kids just made her especially evil.

She found out that I was pregnant, I did not tell her. That pissed her off even more. You see, everyone at school knew I was pregnant and my classmate’s mother worked with my mother. So I came home from school one day and had a not so fun conversation with my enraged mother.

Lessons from Childhood

It’s funny how things I learned in childhood never really left me. They become ingrained into who I am. I didn’t even realize how weird I was until I got older and moved out. Until I was exposed to people besides my family (who have the same bad habits I do).