I will end my lifelong journey for porn on this one last post. (I never thought it would end.) I reserve the right to reopen the posting in the future. I just can’t stand to think about porn anymore. (There’s a first time for everything.)
So porn has come a long way-from pictures to movie, back to pictures and back to movies it’s definitely at a better place now.
We were always technologically disadvantaged at my house. The thing is, no one that lived there seemed to care. I think we got our first CD Player in 1996 and that was only because my parents finally bought a computer and you could put CD’s in the computer to listen to them. I was the first one to get a cell phone and that wasn’t until 1999 or 2000. We were always behind and we didn’t care.
But then I discovered the magic of the (AOL, dial-up style) internet. I could look at porn. New porn, fresh porno that I hadn’t watched 800 times. It was always just a quick search away. Another advantage of the computer was that I could see right out of the picture window in the living room so I could see them coming instead of being taken by surprise.
I think that the progression from porno mag to porno tape (yeah, old VCR tape) is a natural thing. I don’t remember exactly when I found the tape but I am surprised that I didn’t find it sooner. I had friends that were barely allowed in their parents rooms but we were in there all the time looking for CANDY. My mother was a candy hoarder and she hid the stuff all over her room to protect it from the greedy hands of her children. But, of course, we knew this so we searched my parents room whenever she wasn’t around.
Looking back, I find it funny back that when I was younger (pre-teen and early teen years) a glimpse of naked flesh while watching a movie or just the suggestion of sex would be able to bring me to orgasm. I never had to actually see penetration while watching a “Rated R-Sexual Content and Adult Situations” type of movie, I just had to know what they were suggesting and see some flesh (usually a woman because movies generally don’t do much male nudity and who can blame them when women’s bodies are much more visually pleasing then a guy’s hairy ass).
I have to say that finding porn in my family was a very easy task. I guess I grew up in very socially liberal family. My parents didn’t care if we swore (as long as it wasn’t excessive), drinking was never a big deal as long as we didn’t drive (I found that out the hard way) and the porn was free-flowing.
Actually, I didn’t feel like a bad, bad girl at the time. At least not initially. At first I thought I had a big secret that no one else knew about. A really good, fun secret. I used to walk around smugly thinking, “if only they knew how much fun they could be having but they don’t and I’m not telling them.” So maybe I was a little ashamed, but that never stopped me.
Of course, I wasn’t the only one that knew about this secret it was just something that no one talked about, at least not at that age. With boys it may have been different, but I knew my friends weren’t talking.
